Mindset is one of the most crucial elements in how something will turn out. If your mindset is negative and focused on every negative aspect of your journey, the higher your risks of failing. However, if you focus your energy towards a positive mindset, setbacks are easier to move past and success is more easily achieved. This is not researched, but it is my observation of my behaviors and patterns over the years.
In high school, I had a negative mindset about myself, how others viewed me, and about my circumstances. Everything was dismal and life was out to get me, after all, I was a dramatic teen. I thought I was the biggest thing out there, when in reality I held my weight in my hips, butt, and chest, and was what people back home would refer to as “thick” or “thicc.” I didn’t know self-love at that point in time, and I beat myself up with every failure.
Not much changed in college. I was still very critical of myself, but did begin to develop confidence in myself. I lost some weight my first year, but by the time I graduated was around 280. I stopped caring somewhere along the way because during my senior year I realized I didn’t have anyone to impress, and I was still pulling attractive men at my size. BUT the big red flag during that time was that I was only motivated to attempt to lose weight in order to gain the attention of men. I wasn’t “fixing” me for me.
During my time in TX, I decided I wanted to start losing weight for myself. I had taken my first flight ever for training in New Mexico, and I was somewhat uncomfortable. I also thought about how much closer I was to my 10 year reunion for h.s. and didn’t want to attend bigger than I left. I had a pretty big support system in TX. I was in an interesting position as an Americorp VISTA, so I was friends with faculty and the students I worked with. My supervisor taught a yoga/Pilates course that I began attending through the workplace program, and came to love it. Plus I had the accountability of my boss being the instructor. I also signed up for a zumba class through the workplace wellness program, and had so much fun dancing to the Latin rhythms. I was hooked. My student friends were also trying to lose weight, so we would play racquetball, do cardio, lift weights, and play basketball together. I was doing all the things, and I realized that working out and being active was actually fun. This was the beginning of a successful journey, that would last for the next three years, even with me moving to one more state and two new cities. The nutrition piece came into play after I moved to MN, and that further gave me the results I was looking for. My taste buds changed and I craved fruits and vegetables as opposed to junk food. I really enjoyed my healthier lifestyle.
Somewhere along the way I lost that healthy mindset and forgot that I loved working out and loved eating “healthy” food. So as I began my current journey, I tried to remember what it was I did in my TX and MN days to be successful. I started with the basics: I liked doing Zumba, I liked yoga, I did meal prep… and so I tried to start with those things. Then I had my first slip up. I ate off track, and that’s when I realized I had already begun to change my mindset (from my last KY failures). Instead of going off the rails and continuing to eat all the junk like old me would, I told myself, “It’s okay to indulge once in a while otherwise you’ll go back to your old habits. Have your moment, and get back on track tomorrow/with your next meal.” Eating well isn’t meant to deprive yourself of all indulgences. There is a level of self-control that needs to be had, but one “cheat” once in a while isn’t the end of the world, and is definitely not worth throwing away all of your progress for.
I have also found myself in positions where I wasn’t planning on going out to eat, but needed to and in the past I would freak out a little. I would panic thinking I couldn’t eat anything on the menu or I would think that was the end of my diet and completely splurge. My friend and I went to the mall and both ended up getting hungry. I had a few options, but settled on a regular grilled chicken and goat cheese pita, because it fell in my calorie range for that meal, was high in lean protein, had good fats, and I was able to get a whole grain pita. Plus there were veggies. So I didn’t feel terrible about the choice I made, and I made the decision calmly. I still ended up losing that week. I have changed my mindset from going straight to crisis mode to approaching challenges calmly and making the best decisions for myself, while also not beating myself up for choosing to indulge. That was HUGE for me.
Aside from what I am putting in my mouth, I had to also overcome hurdles when it came to working out. There have been countless times I planned to workout and then when it came time, I didn’t want to do it. I pushed myself to do it every time, and followed through, which I was proud of myself for. But there were days when I literally had to check myself. I had to remind myself that I do things every day that I don’t want to do because I have to for work or because I’m part of my family or because I decided to get a dog. SO if I can do those things when I don’t want to, I can do my workout too. No, it’s not always fun, but if I truly want to transform my health, I need build muscle and lose the visceral fat. If I don’t eat right or I skip out on workout days (unless I’m sick of course) then I don’t get the results and I’m going to disappoint myself. Not only that, my health is literally on the line. If I don’t stick to it, my pre-diabetes turns into type II diabetes, my asthma continues to be induced by activities because of my weight, my back and knee injuries don’t heal/those muscles don’t get stronger, my blood pressure goes through the roof, and my options to start a family remain limited. I have to keep going, because I love me and working towards my health is how I show myself love.
Intention Transform 